Rode Hard and Ridden Long

Do you ever have one of those days where you just can’t get it together? My whole life has become that. I am so out of sorts, I don’t even know where to begin.

I love Shey and I love spending the day with him, but trying to work and entertain an increasingly active 4 month old is really taxing. And now, my daycare says they can’t fit him in until mid-May. I’m trying to find someone to come to the house and watch him because I think I’ve pushed my job and myself as far as I can with bringing him here. Plus, I know this sounds selfish, but I would really like to have my lunches free again. I want to start working out, and my boss has agreed to let me skip lunch two days a week so that I can leave early, but I can’t take Shey on the treadmill with me and the gym we are signing up at doesn’t have a daycare. I’ve got to do something though to calm my mind, or I’m going to lose it.

Peyton’s a whole other story. He’s in this lovely “I’m going to try something I don’t want to do myself once and if I can’t get it, I’m going to whine and throw a fit, but if it’s something I want to do and you try to help me, I’m going to whine and throw a fit” phase. That coupled with “I want to be in your face every single second of every single day making really annoying questions and repeating the same thing over and over and over and over again” phase is going to drive me straight to the insane asylum. I love him, I really do, but if someone offered to take him until he turned 20, I might seriously think about it.

Adding to all this, my birthday is Monday and Larry mentioned having some friends over, which I agreed to. Some friends has turned into 25 people. I know this isn’t a huge amount, but it’s still stressing me out. The house has to be cleaned, the yard mowed, food ordered, blah, blah, blah. Because you know that’s how I want to spend my birthday, cleaning and stressing over a stupid party including a ton of people that I really don’t feel like entertaining. I’d rather take the money we’re going to spend on this thing and buy some new clothes or a weekend away . . . by myself.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.