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January - October 2007

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April 05, 2005 - 9:50 a.m.

And the Pile Keeps Growing

Yesterday was just not a good day. For some reason turning 28 hit me really hard. I know intellectually that it is not old, but I just keep thinking, Damn, I’m getting old. And really, I am. I definitely am not a kid anymore and haven’t been for a while. In fact, I have made, birthed and started to raise two kids, which still amazes me at times. I look at Peyton and think, “The hell? How do I have an almost 3 year old?”

In two months, I will be attending my 10-year high school reunion. In essence, I graduated almost the equivalent amount of years ago that I attended school. Those 12 years between 1 and 12 grade took an eternity, and now these last 10 years have flown by without me realizing it. And I know it’s just going to get worse. Where is my life going and why does it have to move at the speed of light? In two years I will be 30, three decades old. Gah.

My best friend of 20 years sent me two of those funny cards with the old batty, bitchy woman, but I cried after I laughed because it pisses me off that we live so far away from each other. I was reading Nicole’s and Trixie’s new website and I’m so jealous. Our kids should be growing up together. We should be hanging out cooking dinner while our husbands are working late, or golfing, or just being the butts they can be.

My parents moved into their new house this past weekend, and while I’m ecstatically happy for them, I’m so sad too. They deserve this more than anything as they’ve spent the last 18 years in a 16x80 box, linear living as we like to call it. But it was my home and I’ll never be able to jump from the living room to the kitchen and sing “living room/kitchen. Living room/kitchen.” Now, Larry and I have a room, the kids have a room, my mom and dad have a room, and there’s an office/playroom area. Mom and dad both told me separately yesterday that they lose each other in the new house, and while I know it will be much more comfortable when we visit, I’ll miss all piling up in our living room fighting over a seat on the couch.

And finally, my baby’s not with me today. Shey started his stint with Larry’s parents that will last until the daycare has a spot for him sometime mid-May. My heart hurts so badly. I think that’s all I want to say about that.

But hey, Larry and I having new mini iPods, mine’s pink and his is green. I guess there’s that.