January - October 2007
July 12, 2005 - 4:30 p.m.
Lift Me Up
Larry's cousin recently had a lift and a tummy tuck and I'm so jealous. I conned her into showing me one of her boobs so I could understand the whole process totally (or maybe I'm just a closet lesbian) and it's really cool. The scarring will be minimal and she now has the perkiness of an 18 year old. Or at least I would guess what a normal 18 year old would look. I haven't been perky since the fourth grade before they started growing. I'm seriously contemplating in a couple of years when we really decide if no more children are in the works trying to have this done. I think once in my life I should have some perkiness, damn it.
And the tummy tuck . . .damn, I want one of those too. His cousin is already a little bitty thing, but I guess after 4 kids, her stomach looked like she was 80 and had been baking in the sun for 75 of those years. Now it's nice and flat, and so damn tight. Gah, any body want to donate some money? Can anyone write into those plastic surgery shows and hope for some free stuff?