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January - October 2007

PPP Direct



July 19, 2005 - 10:16 p.m.

I Went to BFE and All I Got Was this Blood Sucking Inch Worm

If anyone ever wanted to know where Bum Fuck Egypt is actually located, rest your pretty heads because here is your answer. Bum Fuck Egypt is 20 miles north of Okeechobee, FL on State Road 441.

Observe . . .

BFE

Here I am driving along two and a half hours for a 5 minute scene inspection. Actually, this isn't me, but rather the boring ass road I stared at for two and a half hours to the scene inspection and then two and a half hours back.

Never fear though, there was some excitment. As I was entering into town, I looked down and saw this seemingly innocent little green inch worm on my leg.

Ta da . . .

Jean 2

Ah, such a nice little inch worm. Or so I thought . . . Apparently the flash of the camera (or maybe the idea of me driving down the road taking a photo of my leg) freaked the little guy out and he turned and started to hump (heh) towards my crotch. I kinda blanked out at that point and hightailed it into the next parking lot and proceeded to jump squealing from my car scrubbing furiously at the Y of my jeans.

Larry is obviously wearing off on me because I have become a pussy with a capital P.

Once, the furry little inch worm was on the ground, I felt sort of foolish. I mean, really, what's this cute little guy gonna do?

concrete

But then, the little monster turned on me and I knew I wasn't a pussy after all . . .

concrete2