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January - October 2007

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August 18, 2005 - 10:21 a.m.

I�m not Miserable, I Just Don�t Want to Talk to You

I�m just mad. Mad all the time and I�m not really sure why and I don�t know how to get out of this funk. I feel like from the moment I get up in the morning till I put Peyton to bed about 9:30 that it is non stop. Get up, get ready, get the kids ready, get to work, bust my ass, come home, let the dogs out, feed Shey, feed Peyton, make dinner, eat, give Shey a bath, give Peyton a bath, give Shey a bottle, put Shey to bed, watch Dora with Peyton, put Peyton to bed, collapse, sleep, repeat.

I understand I�m an adult, and that these are my kids, and that this is my life, but sometimes it just pisses me off. And Peyton is still freakin� shitting in his underwear. He can tell us when he�s in the tub and has to get out to poop, but he can�t tell me when he�s standing outside, just watching the pool, and decides, �Hey, now would be a good time to take a dump.�

Larry thinks all I need is a night out, to get away for a few hours. A temporary solution for a permanent problem. He doesn�t understand that yeah, it will be nice to go out, have a couple beers and a good time, but I still have to go home and that big fat elephant sitting in our house will still be there.

I know I�m dancing around things here, but it�s the best I can do and I just needed to vent a little.