Sign Me Up for the Doublewide

Larry was gone for 10 days on storm duty, so by Saturday, I was ready to pull my hair out a strand at a time, but decided instead to load the boys up and cart them around time. Our first stop was CVS. Our new receptionist has got me on a make-up kit and I really want a new set of Trish McEvoy make-up brushes, however, we are broke, broke, broke and I appeased my obsession by buying some cheap brushes instead. Actually, CVS’s (?) Essence of Beauty brushes aren’t bad for those on a budget. While I was perusing the make-up section, Peyton was running up and down the aisles attempting to exercise the demon that resides within him at times, and Shey was sitting in the mini-shopping cart eating my keys. (Poor second child)

Physician’s Formula had some cool new eye shadow and it was buy one get one free, so what the hell, in the cart it goes. I also picked up some of their “loose” powder, which is actually little balls of color, although now I’ve tried it, I don’t recommend it to those looking. After I spent as much time as I could looking at CVS’ make-up section, I headed to the front to pay.

Peyton refused to stand still as the lady was ringing me up, so finally I growled at him, “stand beside me and don’t move.” I wasn’t paying attention as she scanned the items, and when she read the total, I glanced at the list of items I had bought. I noticed she charged me for both eye shadows, so I casually mentioned, “aren’t those buy one get one free?” Because, hey, they were $7.00 and that’s a lunch, also, the aforementioned brokenness. The poor cashier pulls out the advertisement and I start to feel like a heel, because even though there were signs all over the eye shadow section, it’s not listed in the flyer. So, she calls the manager, who limps over, and then limps to the make-up aisle to check. There must have been a mistake, because when she came back, she had all the advertisements in her hand.

Peyton’s losing his cool, Shey’s tired and now the manager’s asking me how do I want to handle the transaction. We can refund everything and ring it up again, or she could just give me my $7.00 in cash. By now, I’m getting hot, because I’m hanging around for $7.00 and my kids are going crazy. I’m the poor single mom who can’t control her children.

Then it happens, Peyton goes over to Shey and stands up on the cart rung and the whole mini-cart tips over. Peyton lands on the ground, cushioning Shey’s and the cart’s fall, both kids start screaming, the manager limps over to us and I’m mortified. I pick up the cart, unbuckle Shey, pick up Peyton and then walk back to the cart for my $7.00, because now I need it for a strong shot of something.

The manager keeps asking if the boys are ok, like I’m going to sue them for my son’s own actions, I assure we are, just give me my DAMN money already.

For the rest of the day whenever Peyton started up, I reminded him, remember what happens when you don’t listen to mommy? The cart falls on your head!