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January - October 2007

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September 15, 2004 - 9:45 a.m.

World War Three

This morning Peyton decided he most emphatically did not want to wear the Pooh shirt I had picked out for him, instead, he wanted to wear his red shirt. Which red shirt? I�m not really sure, but it was most definitely a red shirt he wanted to wear. So I explained to him in my �I�m still being a nice mommy voice� that if he wanted to wear the red shirt that we would go to his room, pick put a shirt and he could wear it.

Alas, he didn�t want to walk to his room because, you know, God thinks two year olds should still be carried to their room by their six month pregnant mommies. I then explained to him in my �I�m still trying to be a nice mommy, but I�m on the verge of losing my cool� voice that if he wanted to be a big boy and pick out his own shirt then he could be a big boy and walk to his room.

You would have thought I asked him to tear off his legs and eat them rather than just simply walk down the hall to his freakin room and pick out a shirt.

By this time he�s screaming and carrying on about how he doesn�t want to wear the Pooh shirt and I�m really starting to lose it. Finally, I screeched �Then walk to your room and pick out a shirt!� He just sat in the middle of the room howling and I walked over to him and put the damn Pooh shirt on anyway. He clawed and pulled at the shirt, but STILL wouldn�t get up to go to his room.

I just walked out of the room before I had to call DHR on myself.

I walked into the kitchen to feed the dogs and Peyton ran into the toy room. Not wanting to give him a chance to calm down, I thought, �Hey, now�s as good as time as any to give him his antibiotic that he absolutely despises.�

I grabbed the pink goo out of the fridge and walked towards Peyton who�s now covering his mouth and shaking his head violently from side to side.

�Look, son, either you can take it like a big boy or I�ll have Daddy come hold you down.�

Apparently Peyton was not into being a big boy this morning, because several minutes later I�m yelling for Larry to come hog tie the kid.

Tell me why I�m having another one again.