January - October 2007
September 29, 2004 - 4:20 p.m.
I think I’d rather be pissed on
Dear Person Driving in Front of Me,
The posted speed limit on this road we are both traveling on is 40 mph. I understand it is within your legal rights to actually drive said limit; however when you insist on driving 5 miles under the posted limit all you succeed in accomplishing is pissing the hungry pregnant woman off behind you.
Speed up fatty,
The Irritable Pregnant Woman
Dear Man in the TransAm from circa 1985,
The majority of drivers today just pull straight into parking spaces when there is plenty of room to back out of said parking spot. If you insist on backing into the parking space, just make sure a hungry pregnant woman does not need to drive on the road you are blocking.
Thanks for nothing,
The Woman Who Think It’s Time For You To Buy A New Car
Dear Soccer Mom Driving the Family Van;
When I pulled out of my parking spot just now, I did not veer into your lane, I did not cut you off, and I certainly did not warrant the evil look you shot me with the exaggerated hand gesture.
Back off, Bitch. Pissy pregnant woman coming through.
I’m sure a shrink would read the above and inform me that I was not truly mad at the above drivers, instead, I was carrying over frustration from my every day life. He/She would be right (although I wouldn’t admit it.)
September has been a shitty fucking month. Here’s hoping October will be a little kinder.