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January - October 2007

PPP Direct

March 04, 2005 - 10:22 a.m.

I could have DIED

Shey’s bath started innocently enough last night. Little did I know that a cloud of impending doom had fallen over my head.

Peyton’s foam alphabet was floating around the tub, so as Shey kicked away, I scooped the ABC’s up to put in the Pooh catch all net. As I grabbed a letter, out of thin air a huge cock-a-roach fell into the bath water. I emitted a squeal of disgust but knew the removal of this hideous beast was all in my hands as my husband is a p-word when it comes to this type of thing.

I deftly grabbed the foam 5 and tried to scoop the cock-a-roach up before it ate Shey and me alive. The creature was fierce though and tried to swim away.

“Die, Cock-a-roach! Die!”

After several terrifying seconds, I was able to flick the vile monster onto the bath mat. He landed on his back, still, and I thought, dead.

As I continued to bathe Shey, I stole glances over my shoulder praying to the Lord above that fiend would stay dead. I peeked over to the carpet once more as I finished washing Shey’s hair and horror of horrors the cock-a-roach was GONE!

I fervently scanned the bathroom floor, but it was if the devil had sprouted wings and flew away. He was nowhere to be found.

I hurriedly picked Shey up and briskly walked to the bedroom. My heart finally slowed its rapid pace as I dried my baby off and put his diaper on. As I reached for his nightie though, I felt it. The prickly little legs.

I screamed and flailed about and that damn cock-a-roach who refused to die sailed to the ground, laughing his fool head off. I quickly grabbed my flip flop and smooshed him. Not satisfied, I ran to the bathroom, grabbed some tissue and flushed the monstrosity down the toilet.

Ha! You Cock-a-roach. Who has the last laugh now.

Something big has been happening in our house this week, but I’m scared to write about it as every time I write something here, it jinxes me. I’ll wait till Monday and if this huge event is still going on, I’ll let you know.

Yippee-I-O-Ki-A – yee-haw.