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January - October 2007

PPP Direct

April 01, 2005 - 10:48 a.m.

Rode Hard and Ridden Long

Do you ever have one of those days where you just canít get it together? My whole life has become that. I am so out of sorts, I donít even know where to begin.

I love Shey and I love spending the day with him, but trying to work and entertain an increasingly active 4 month old is really taxing. And now, my daycare says they canít fit him in until mid-May. Iím trying to find someone to come to the house and watch him because I think Iíve pushed my job and myself as far as I can with bringing him here. Plus, I know this sounds selfish, but I would really like to have my lunches free again. I want to start working out, and my boss has agreed to let me skip lunch two days a week so that I can leave early, but I canít take Shey on the treadmill with me and the gym we are signing up at doesnít have a daycare. Iíve got to do something though to calm my mind, or Iím going to lose it.

Peytonís a whole other story. Heís in this lovely ďIím going to try something I donít want to do myself once and if I canít get it, Iím going to whine and throw a fit, but if itís something I want to do and you try to help me, Iím going to whine and throw a fitĒ phase. That coupled with ďI want to be in your face every single second of every single day making really annoying questions and repeating the same thing over and over and over and over againĒ phase is going to drive me straight to the insane asylum. I love him, I really do, but if someone offered to take him until he turned 20, I might seriously think about it.

Adding to all this, my birthday is Monday and Larry mentioned having some friends over, which I agreed to. Some friends has turned into 25 people. I know this isnít a huge amount, but itís still stressing me out. The house has to be cleaned, the yard mowed, food ordered, blah, blah, blah. Because you know thatís how I want to spend my birthday, cleaning and stressing over a stupid party including a ton of people that I really donít feel like entertaining. Iíd rather take the money weíre going to spend on this thing and buy some new clothes or a weekend away . . . by myself.

Stick a fork in me, Iím done.

On another note, or really, a whole new topic all together, our work accountantís handwriting looks just like my grandmotherís. Strange.