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January - October 2007

PPP Direct

October 10, 2005 - 3:08 p.m.

Sign Me Up for the Doublewide

Larry was gone for 10 days on storm duty, so by Saturday, I was ready to pull my hair out a strand at a time, but decided instead to load the boys up and cart them around time. Our first stop was CVS. Our new receptionist has got me on a make-up kit and I really want a new set of Trish McEvoy make-up brushes, however, we are broke, broke, broke and I appeased my obsession by buying some cheap brushes instead. Actually, CVSís (?) Essence of Beauty brushes arenít bad for those on a budget. While I was perusing the make-up section, Peyton was running up and down the aisles attempting to exercise the demon that resides within him at times, and Shey was sitting in the mini-shopping cart eating my keys. (Poor second child)

Physicianís Formula had some cool new eye shadow and it was buy one get one free, so what the hell, in the cart it goes. I also picked up some of their ďlooseĒ powder, which is actually little balls of color, although now Iíve tried it, I donít recommend it to those looking. After I spent as much time as I could looking at CVSí make-up section, I headed to the front to pay.

Peyton refused to stand still as the lady was ringing me up, so finally I growled at him, ďstand beside me and donít move.Ē I wasnít paying attention as she scanned the items, and when she read the total, I glanced at the list of items I had bought. I noticed she charged me for both eye shadows, so I casually mentioned, ďarenít those buy one get one free?Ē Because, hey, they were $7.00 and thatís a lunch, also, the aforementioned brokenness. The poor cashier pulls out the advertisement and I start to feel like a heel, because even though there were signs all over the eye shadow section, itís not listed in the flyer. So, she calls the manager, who limps over, and then limps to the make-up aisle to check. There must have been a mistake, because when she came back, she had all the advertisements in her hand.

Peytonís losing his cool, Sheyís tired and now the managerís asking me how do I want to handle the transaction. We can refund everything and ring it up again, or she could just give me my $7.00 in cash. By now, Iím getting hot, because Iím hanging around for $7.00 and my kids are going crazy. Iím the poor single mom who canít control her children.

Then it happens, Peyton goes over to Shey and stands up on the cart rung and the whole mini-cart tips over. Peyton lands on the ground, cushioning Sheyís and the cartís fall, both kids start screaming, the manager limps over to us and Iím mortified. I pick up the cart, unbuckle Shey, pick up Peyton and then walk back to the cart for my $7.00, because now I need it for a strong shot of something.

The manager keeps asking if the boys are ok, like Iím going to sue them for my sonís own actions, I assure we are, just give me my DAMN money already.

For the rest of the day whenever Peyton started up, I reminded him, remember what happens when you donít listen to mommy? The cart falls on your head!